


you can't spell homoerotic without homeric

by hernymills



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Holodecks/Holosuites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-06-28 07:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernymills/pseuds/hernymills
Summary: Jadzia drags Kira along on an odyssey on the holodeckFor primatechnosynthpop on tumblr for the sapphicstartrek fanwork exchange, credit to her for the title!





	1. Chapter 1

“I do not believe you.”

Jadzia replied without turning. “No one asked you to believe anything, Worf. I was just letting you know that I’m busy this evening.”

“The major has expressed her disdain for the holosuites many times. She would not willingly join you again, especially after her experience in the Camelot program.” 

“Who said anything about willingly?” 

Jadzia smiled when she spotted Kira arriving at Ops. “Nerys! Perfect timing.”

“Oh?” Kira said, joining Dax at her station. “Why’s that?”

“You can tell Worf here that I did in fact get you to agree to join me in the holosuites tonight.” 

Kira sighed, but her expression wasn’t without mirth. “That’s right. Against my better judgement.” 

“Hey!” Jadzia turned to Kira, “I won fair and square and you know it.”

“Only because you violated the spirit of the rules!” Kira protested. “I spent all week fundraising the old-fashioned way, and you just spent a couple evenings playing Tongo and called your winnings ‘donations from the Ferengi waiters!’ You may have won the bet, but I wouldn’t call it fair and square.”

“Oh come on,” Jadzia argued. “Deep down, you wanted me to win anyway or you wouldn’t have taken the bet. You know I usually donate to the war orphan fund around this time of year anyway. That little spark of imagination within you just wanted an excuse to get some exercise.” 

Kira merely gave her a look. 

“If you two are finished bickering,” Worf interjected, “we have a meeting in the Wardroom in a few minutes.”

Jadzia turned. “We were _not_ bickering.” 

“And even if we were,” Kira added, “what’s it to you?”

“We’ll make it to the meeting on time, don’t you worry.” There was a bit of playful condescension in Jadzia’s voice.

“I just meant-” Worf sighed. “I hate it when you two…” he gestured for the right words “...combine your sass.”

Jadzia smiled. “I suppose maybe we should save it for tonight.”

“I can hardly wait.” Kira’s voice was deadpan, but she wore a smile.

\---

That evening Kira and Jadzia walked onto the turbolift as the next shift started their watch. 

“So,” Kira started, placing her hand on her hip, “are you going to tell me just what kind of holographic misadventure we’ll be having tonight?” 

“A classic from Earth, one of their foundational epics.” Jadzia mirrored Kira’s pose teasingly. “Don’t worry about the costume, I already picked up your toga from Garak.”

Kira eyed Jadzia with a bit of suspicion. “What’s a toga?” 

\---

Kira was beginning to grow impatient with Jadzia’s absence. They were supposed to be running this program together, weren’t they? So why was it that Jadzia had decided to play some apparently minor character back on the island with all the narcotic fruits, if Kira and her crew were meant to leave that island and wash up here?

Speaking of Kira’s men, she didn’t much care for the holographic crew she’d been given. First she had to drag them all out of their lotus-induced stupor to get them back on track, and now they’d decided without her permission to raid this cave of the meat and cheese they found. She absently tangled her fingers in the wool of a sheep in one of several pens around the spacious cave. 

Kira was uneasy. The crew had insisted that the laws of hospitality would compel the person who lived here to grant them a gift that would aid them on their journey, but Kira had her doubts. By the look of the cave this dwelling belonged to someone or something rather large, and there was no guarantee that the occupant shared the same cultural rules of hospitality as her crew. 

As Kira rethought the plan to wait here to meet the homeowner, the ground began to shake with thunderous footsteps. The sunlight from the cave entrance was blocked out, the only remaining light the fire that had been lit by the now-quaking crew. A flock of sheep streamed through the darkened cave entrance, followed by whatever it was that cast a shadow so large. 

The gargantuan form, back turned, rolled a large stone into place at the mouth of the cave. With the only exit very much blocked and no idea what sort of giant creature it was whose food her men had helped themselves to, Kira felt anxiety pool in the pit of her stomach. At least the program was about to become a little more interesting than just trying to command a ship of buffoons, Kira mused. 

The figure turned slowly, standing up to its full height as it stepped closer to the light cast by the torches. It dropped the wood that it had been carrying with a crash that sent Kira’s men scrambling to hide. A voice like the rumbling of a volcano called out “Who is there?”

Kira took in the looming form before her. It was dirty, a bit lumpy, and approximately fourteen feet tall but the trail of spots from the bare feet to the misshapen temples were unmistakable, as was the twinkle in the big, singular blue eye. 

“Jadzia? How are you doing that?” Kira marveled. 

Jadzia switched back to her normal voice, albeit in a stage-whisper. “Imagination, remember? Don’t pull yourself out of the story!” 

Kira gave Jadzia a look that made it clear that she wasn’t moving forward without an explanation.

“Fine, technically I’m in a sectioned-off area of the holosuite controlling the cyclops through VR. It’s a hologram that just _looks_ like me. Well, fourteen feet of me.” Even with teeth like mossy boulders Jadzia’s smile was charming. “Now back into character!” 

Her voice boomed out “Who are you?” 

Kira rolled her eyes but adjusted her posture to that of a brave leader speaking on behalf of her men. “We are Greeks, and come from Troy. We’re trying to return home, but adverse winds blew us ashore.”

\---

Kira stood tied to the mast of her ship as her crew worked around her, wax plugging their ears. They had been warned of an island ahead on their journey where Sirens lured men to their deaths with irresistible song. Kira just knew Jadzia would be one of them. She had made sure that her men wouldn’t be drawn in by the siren call but her own ears would remain unplugged. Only, she wasn’t just curious to hear the Siren. She was ready to give her a piece of her mind. 

“First you were a hippy Lotus-Eater that helped drug my crew, then you were huge freakin’ Polyphemus and ate everyone, then you… ugh, I swear you picked this program specifically so you could frustrate me!” The fire in Kira’s eyes was giving Jadzia life, though admitting as much would get her in even more hot water with her irritated friend. 

“No,” smirked Jadzia in Siren form. “I just thought you’d look great in a toga.” 

Jadzia didn’t look bad in one herself, Kira thought. For this character Dax hadn’t used any fancy holographic tricks, save for a bit of a glowing aura that only accentuated her natural beauty. 

Not that that was the point Kira wanted to focus on right now, she reminded herself. 

“If you had to pick an old ‘Earth epic’” Kira punctuated the term with finger quotes, a difficult feat with her arms pinned to her sides, “you could have at least had us be on the same side.”

“But that would take the fun out of thwarting you again and again.” Jadzia’s grin made Kira want to ‘thwart’ her right in the face. 

“You said I would like this program better than Camelot because it’s about my character trying to get home to his beloved wife, who is meanwhile using all her tricks to keep suitors off her back and stay faithful...” 

Jadzia nodded. “No kissing of married women.” 

“... and yet here you are trying to seduce me, a married _man!_ ”

“It’s the nature of my kind,” Jadzia shrugged. “You resisted Circe well enough, you honorable hero. Besides, if it really bothered you, you could have plugged your ears like the rest of the crew.” Jadzia’s voice grew sultry. “My dear Odysseus, one might think you _wanted_ me to seduce you.” 

A heat grew in Kira’s stomach as a blush formed on her cheeks. “ _Your_ choice of holoprogram,” Kira objected, “has cast you to pursue me twice now. Maybe you’re the one who wants the seduction to happen.”

“Yet you haven’t ended the program, or attacked anyone you’re not supposed to.” Jadzia pointed out. “You may object to the Siren calling to Odysseus, but maybe you don’t mind _me_ pursuing _you_.”

“Maybe I’m exercising my imagination!” Kira spat back with a bit too much bluster. “Like what I’d like to do to you if I weren’t tied to this mast!”

Jadzia completely sidestepped the threat, purring “Maybe I should come aboard ship and find out exactly what you would like to do to me.”

“Maybe you should!”

Jadzia stepped off the island, her footsteps gliding across the water as she made her way to the ship. Within a few moments she stood on the deck face-to-face with Kira, who pulled at her bonds to lean closer to Jadzia. 

“Maybe I should untie you,” Jadzia murmured.

“Or maybe you could just kiss me already!” 

Jadzia couldn’t help but smile at the genuine impatience in Kira’s voice. Leaning in closer so that her lips were a breath away from Kira’s ear, she cupped Nerys’s chin with her right hand and whispered “Okay.”

Their kiss was long and deep. Kira’s senses were overwhelmed as the taste of Jadzia mingled with the brisk fresh smell of the sea air. Maybe the holosuites had their merits after all. 

“You know, this isn’t how the program is supposed to play out.” Jadzia smiled, breathless as she pulled back a millimeter. 

Kira wore a smirk as she went in for another kiss. “You know I like to make up my own endings.” 


	2. Fic has been drawn!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephanidftba drew Kiradax in togas and I'm trying to figure out how to link that great great art to this fic so bear w me ok?


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